Author Report

So, I've discovered a new author that I enjoy. Lee Child or Child(s) whichever it is Im not sure. I stole one of his books from the trashy novel stash at work expecting it to be another pathetic excuse at wasting time and was pleasantly surprised. The next day, I unexpectedly found another one of his novels in a loaner vehicle from the mechanics. Needless to say I read those two plus an additional one found at the library in two days. Some of his books feature a character named Jack Reacher who blows things up, shamoozles women, and caries nothing on him other than a bank card. Check out the website http://www.leechild.com/

book report-handle with care

I've just finished reading another Jodi Picoult novel. Very dissapointing. I read "My sisters keeper" on the way to Australia and was so enthralled by the issues never before discussed in a novel. now just having finished "Handle with care" im annoyed the author pretty much published the same novel. twice this novel dealing with brittle bone disease rather than cancer. My opinion is - read handle with care only if you havent read any other jodi picoults.

Cathi and Karson as Hoodoo's

YUDU Yourself In

The shirt that says "I supplement my personality by wearing witty T-shirts" perhaps describes why I felt the need to purchase a silk screener and begin a large scale production of amazing t-shirts that would be sold from coast to coast and even some places in Labrador. The "YUDU" machine at Michaels craft store caught my eye. Instantly the word "Machine" made my heart leap in its symmetry to how I imagined I would be producing these amazing silk screens and shipping them via Loomis from my garage. I balked at the price of $400 though I immediately purchased the item when a few weeks later for %40 off I could buy it for hardly $300.00. Instantly over the next five months I drew up templates on the transparent sheets provided. These hardly did much good other than provide some art work for the floor when I discovered that if the transfer sheet gets wet while laying on the floor it will transfer the permanent ink to the tiles of your rented living room floor. So, like I said five months and a province later, I was able to finally take the YUDU out of the box and begin production. I had purchased previously from Liquidation World in Grande Prairie from a closing out sale, as much blank t-shirts that I could fit into an over sized shopping bag and was excited to finally use these as practice pieces. I took my favorite template the one that I had squeezed four different designs on and stuck in on the machine how I remembered the instructional DVD telling me to. After wetting the emulsion paper, I stuck it to dry in the internal compartment of the YUDU and turned the machine on. The supposed ten minute drying session actually took an hour and a half to complete. I don't know how they can get away with that. Next time, I will just take the screen to my back yard and wave it in the wind until dry. Which I'm assuming will be quicker and much less aggravating. The designs all flopped, as the emulsion sheet either stuck where it was supposed to or didn't stick were it should have. The only prints of the four that worked out was a surly looking owl. The VW Bug, tree, and star fish would later find useful lives as ink spots in a shrink office. I think the problem is that if I remember correctly there was a recall on the emulsion sheets and being I didnt use the machine for such a long time, I was unaware as to whether or not the sheets were working. Im about to give up but I will try one more time using newly purchase emulsion sheets. So much for that business adventure. I havent really given up yet.. but not impressed about the setback..

woops

Suffered a little bit from foot in mouth disease this week. One of my little six year old friends showed up with a rather large bandage on his arm. I jokingly asked if he had cut his arm off thinking he had a fall on his bike. Turns out he DID almost cut his arm off with a saw. Poor kid. his thumb almost cut clean off. I felt quite stupid.

I ran over my tent. Its not really as bad as it sounds but here's how it went. Sunday I was invited out to a potluck. Some visiters were en route to Tofino and seeing I carried my tent in my trunk, I offered them usage of it. They declined so I propped the tent up against the back of my car so I would remember to place it in my trunk on departure. Of course I forgot. After dinner and fourteen "I really should get going" I said goodbye to the twelve people on the balcony. I decided to show them all how amazing I was at backing up and prepared myself to back the entire length of the drive way. I made eye contact and waved slowly as I put my car in reverse. A slight thump and Im down the driveway thinking about how cool I look backing up. Why? I have no idea. people back up everyday. twenty seconds after the thump I decided that ah, that was a thump.. thumps need to be investigated and thats when I notice my tent laying on the ground in front of me at the other end of the drive. Putting it in forward I drive back towards the house. I dont know wny people cant mind their own business but everybody turned to wonder what I was doing coming back towards the house. Sigh. Chuck the tent in my car - Ill check for damage later. And try once more to look cool backing up the length of the driveway.

New Pad

I've moved into my new spacious 500 square foot house. Its all I need. My landlord "Leo" seems like an alright guy despite the skull tattoos on his arms and his chrome infested Harley. I was a little worried in the beginning but he seemed pretty harmless so on my better judgement, I took the place. My gut feeling about his tough guy image being a facade was kind of reinforced when he introduced me to his Shitzu "Candy". I would say my house is kind of like a beach hut - minus the beach, though it is only five minutes drive away in about four different directions. I've tried my best to make it feel like home despite the fact I have no furniture at all!. I've been sitting on a blue stepping stool and my only sleeping arrangements are a blue foamy mattress from extra foods that has compressed to about a 1/4 inch thick. I have dreams of planting a decent garden though it is half way through the summer. I took a pair of scissors to the heather bushes at the front and placed my sad looking 'italian parsley' plant which I got half price and named "Garfield" on my steps in on of my failed pottery projects as my feeble first attempt at a garden.

"China Sue"

Well, Ive had my first experience helping to host an exhange student. "Chinatsu" spent two days at the house where I've been boarding. It is always very interesting how Japanese teenagers dress like they have just jumped out of an Archie Comic. Its like you are more surprised to see that they arent followed around by a pointy conversation bubble that says "POW!!". Its always interesting to me how humans try to talk to other humans whom they percieve to have problems understanding what you are saying. I myself fall into this trap. Chinatsu seemed to have a glazed confused expression in response to almost everything I had to say... now that i think of it most everyone does.... so Ive taken to talking in a LOUD V-E-R-Y S-L-O-W voice. Im not sure if it helps or now it just takes a bit longer for the confused look to spread over her face.
Jim never did learn how to say her name. "tChinats" received every contortion of her name by dear Jim. I suggested he call her China Sue. which of course he refused.

Charlie Poole

I was in Walmart the other night killing time by having a hot drink and a muffin when an old man asked if he could share my table. Sharing tables with strangers is secretly something I wish I could do more of so I say "sure". He is an old man who "likes to talk" he self identifies and asks if I had figured that out yet. I say " if I hadnt already, I would soon". He looks a bit confused and continues on the conversation. He looks at me with a gleam in his eye and tells me about his younger days in Sheshelt which of course were his glory days. He's got a wife who "works for Walmart too". ..... I dont actually work for Walmart sir. His wife doesnt mind that he gives out his number he says and hands me a card with his name on it and tells me to hang up if she answers. It doubles as a business card for home made fishing lures and I cant help wondering why he is wasting his effort trying to sell me fishing lures. He says "I cant remember what I was saying" and goes on to explain how he is on oxygen and etc...I can imagine what he imagines us being on par with in this fictitional romance? he's not even able to maintain alertness in a conversation. As I write this I remember my favorite Nancy Drew quote. "Old men who are looking at middle age through a rearview mirror should not attempt to keep pace with lithe younger women". Ah Charlie Poole. weird lonely old man.

Mt.Benson

Yesterday I went hiking with Tyrone. Mt.Benson. The internet maps all confusing. The trail head was easy to find and I took off down it with deceitful enthusiasm. Unfortunately the trail was only to a lake about 50 meters off the road. It was nice to do some bushwacking first off as we attempted to find the trail by following the natural curve of the lake. No luck. Back to the vehicle and another short look around yeilded a very obvious "right" trail. More decietful enthusiasm. First fork in the road and the "always go left" rule is applied though ive forgotten if it is actually "always go left" or "always go right". We dont appear to be making much of an incline so we ask the next person we see if we are on the right track. We arent. And she mentions that she saw us at the beginning of the trail where we happily went flailing through the bush but we "looked like you knew were you were going so I didnt say anything". I love it when I look like I know what Im doing. we back track to the point were we should have used the "always go right" rule and smile in aknowledgement of the sign with mountains that say "mt.benson" on them. I've gone ten feet when i start to feel the strain of the mountains in my legs. "Wow" I think "I'm sure glad I went for two ten minute runs this last week to prepare myself for this". Onward and upward. I stop twice to cough and am surprised when a little spider and a couple cobwebs come rolling out. Havent really been using my lungs lately. Credit to Tyrone, he is patient as we hike slowly and stop every few feet as I wait for my resting heart rate to fall below 104 BPM. After 45 minutes my legs have stoped whining about the hike, and Ive tried to stop also. The first look out is at the top of a clearcut. A beautiful and majestic view of Nanaimo. Another rock perch yeilds an even more amazing view of the ocean and all the way to vancouver. An eagle soars at eye level and quickly raises five hundred feet in a matter of seconds. (thats what tyrone said - I wouldnt be able to tell). Thats when we hear a "Meow"? um. this isnt really the area for domestic house cats. We discuss cougars and the various sounds they make and how they can sound like children. and another "meow". Later it is discovered that it IS actually a slightly less than intelligent child yelling for his caregiver to wait up or something. Time to move on now that the sweat on my face has dried to a film thick enough to season a take out chinese dish. The rest of the incline is uneventful and the view from the top is amazing. I can see Croften and possibly Duncan like the webpages said. I am curious to know about the mountains to the southwest and west and wonder why I havent explored them too much and make a note to do that in the future. I pretend I know all the names of the lakes and islands. who will know the difference anyways. There is "4:20" and swastikas spray painted all over a building at the top. I cant help but wonder how the potheads found the enthusiasm to hike to the top. On the way down, I am glad for the trees by the side of the trial and throw my self from one tree to the next hoping they stop gravity from turning me into a non moss gathering rolling projectile. "I managed to make it another ten feet" I say as I simultainously loose my footing. I hear the universe laugh.
I never pass the opportunity to drink from a mountain stream. There is a little waterfall falling off a ledge and I have to press my hand against the wall for a little bit of water to collect. crisp and refreshing I rinse my face. I take a sip and it tastes like moss. I shouldnt be surprised, the rock being covered in moss and all.
I'm still alive when we reach the bottom. I feel good. I love being out in the wilderns. Out of shape and all, its great to get out and get away from the noise of the city and be one with nature. Even having to awaken at 5 am to inject two doses of morphine for the muscle pain in my legs, it was all worth it!.

"this looks important"

"Charlie" my car and I are off to the beach. I am feeling the freedom of the "anything goes" concept most islanders abide by and have decided to bring a canvas and a handful of paints to create a masterpiece as I sit and sunbathe by the seashore. My hour of work yeilds nothing much exciting as though uninspired by scenery paintings, I have tried to capture the essence of the sunny summer day surrounded by beach and mountains. The texture of mixing sand in with the paint has worked quite well, but the color I have mixed to represent sand is akin to a babies first post uterus fecal expulsion.
I've had enough so I pack up and head back to Char. When all my gear is back in the car, I attempt to pull away. I am unsure how I failed to notice I had parked my car at the edge of a drop off. As I start pulling away i hear a scraping noise. then all of a sudden my car drops to the ground? wha? I guess that means only three of my tires were on the ground. well Im in now, might as well get out. I wave and smile at the vacationers who have turned to stare and whos eyes have gone blank petite mal style at the wonder of my driving skills. Its really not that big of a deal. I havent got stuck. I dont know what the problem is. And Im out of the ditch. There is a big black piece of plastic laying where I just drove out of. I assume its mine. All I can do is hop out of my car and retrieve it. To the stone eyed holidayers I say "This looks important" - what else can one say?

"ouch my eye"

The sky was bright blue and the skin on my arm prickled as the sun shone down through my open car window. Much excitement at the prospect of hanging out with Jon and Brad who is home from somewhere and Aussie Mel. I see them ahead on the road as I reach the Coombs bridge. Jon is riding his bike and Brad is perched on "Cowboy" his horse. And its off to the old property we go.
Soon joined by the current owners three mentaly deficient pit bulls we are off and down the trails that encompass the property. The day is so nice that soon I am frolicing happily in the river fully clothed.
When those that were undressed were dressed again, we continued on the trail. "Cowboy" decided to step on one of the pitbulls and we ponder the posibility of internal injuries for a moment. I guess they should watch where they are going.
At the top of a short incline Brad suggests that we "check out the 200 foot drop off" down a short trail. The river is at the bottom and Mel and I are wowed by its splendor. I turn around and head back to the main trail and Im talking. Probably saying something like "blah blah blah.. nothing too important and I have bad coordination and etc.." Im unsure at this point why I thought it was a good idea to walk across a wet log while dripping water from wet clothes. Now this is the part where you will have to visualize my bum. ok not for too long. but anyways. It stays unmoving. my legs surprisingly invisably attached at the ankles move as one straight out to the right of my body as my eyebrows on my slowly leftwardly moving face raise in surprise. In my memory I dont actually recall the time from that moment to the moment when Im on the ground sitting comfortably with my back resting in a bush of sallel. I sit and think about math equations for a moment before I decide to attempt to remove myself from the forest floor. I contemplate my situation a bit more. My top half is in a bush, my bum on the forest floor and my legs are up and over the tree that I just slipped on. There is only one other situation I can relate this feeling to. And that is as a kid when in a hurry you dont realize that someone has left the toilet seat up and you fall in, splashing in the cold water of the bowl, legs drapped spiderlike over the edge hands grasping frantically at the sides to pull yourself out. Unfortunatly I have a very central center of gravity and all efforts made to right myself are futile. I am able to take a picture of Mel however which, is blurry due to my wrecking my camera in the fall. It is a nice perspective though and I think it captures the moment beautifully.
I am forced to accept a hand to assist with standing up. All the while Brad stands there and watches. He wouldnt get off his high horse and help - haha. All in all my toe is not broken and all I have to show for my display of athleticism are two fist sized bruises on my ankle.