YUDU Yourself In

The shirt that says "I supplement my personality by wearing witty T-shirts" perhaps describes why I felt the need to purchase a silk screener and begin a large scale production of amazing t-shirts that would be sold from coast to coast and even some places in Labrador. The "YUDU" machine at Michaels craft store caught my eye. Instantly the word "Machine" made my heart leap in its symmetry to how I imagined I would be producing these amazing silk screens and shipping them via Loomis from my garage. I balked at the price of $400 though I immediately purchased the item when a few weeks later for %40 off I could buy it for hardly $300.00. Instantly over the next five months I drew up templates on the transparent sheets provided. These hardly did much good other than provide some art work for the floor when I discovered that if the transfer sheet gets wet while laying on the floor it will transfer the permanent ink to the tiles of your rented living room floor. So, like I said five months and a province later, I was able to finally take the YUDU out of the box and begin production. I had purchased previously from Liquidation World in Grande Prairie from a closing out sale, as much blank t-shirts that I could fit into an over sized shopping bag and was excited to finally use these as practice pieces. I took my favorite template the one that I had squeezed four different designs on and stuck in on the machine how I remembered the instructional DVD telling me to. After wetting the emulsion paper, I stuck it to dry in the internal compartment of the YUDU and turned the machine on. The supposed ten minute drying session actually took an hour and a half to complete. I don't know how they can get away with that. Next time, I will just take the screen to my back yard and wave it in the wind until dry. Which I'm assuming will be quicker and much less aggravating. The designs all flopped, as the emulsion sheet either stuck where it was supposed to or didn't stick were it should have. The only prints of the four that worked out was a surly looking owl. The VW Bug, tree, and star fish would later find useful lives as ink spots in a shrink office. I think the problem is that if I remember correctly there was a recall on the emulsion sheets and being I didnt use the machine for such a long time, I was unaware as to whether or not the sheets were working. Im about to give up but I will try one more time using newly purchase emulsion sheets. So much for that business adventure. I havent really given up yet.. but not impressed about the setback..

woops

Suffered a little bit from foot in mouth disease this week. One of my little six year old friends showed up with a rather large bandage on his arm. I jokingly asked if he had cut his arm off thinking he had a fall on his bike. Turns out he DID almost cut his arm off with a saw. Poor kid. his thumb almost cut clean off. I felt quite stupid.

I ran over my tent. Its not really as bad as it sounds but here's how it went. Sunday I was invited out to a potluck. Some visiters were en route to Tofino and seeing I carried my tent in my trunk, I offered them usage of it. They declined so I propped the tent up against the back of my car so I would remember to place it in my trunk on departure. Of course I forgot. After dinner and fourteen "I really should get going" I said goodbye to the twelve people on the balcony. I decided to show them all how amazing I was at backing up and prepared myself to back the entire length of the drive way. I made eye contact and waved slowly as I put my car in reverse. A slight thump and Im down the driveway thinking about how cool I look backing up. Why? I have no idea. people back up everyday. twenty seconds after the thump I decided that ah, that was a thump.. thumps need to be investigated and thats when I notice my tent laying on the ground in front of me at the other end of the drive. Putting it in forward I drive back towards the house. I dont know wny people cant mind their own business but everybody turned to wonder what I was doing coming back towards the house. Sigh. Chuck the tent in my car - Ill check for damage later. And try once more to look cool backing up the length of the driveway.

New Pad

I've moved into my new spacious 500 square foot house. Its all I need. My landlord "Leo" seems like an alright guy despite the skull tattoos on his arms and his chrome infested Harley. I was a little worried in the beginning but he seemed pretty harmless so on my better judgement, I took the place. My gut feeling about his tough guy image being a facade was kind of reinforced when he introduced me to his Shitzu "Candy". I would say my house is kind of like a beach hut - minus the beach, though it is only five minutes drive away in about four different directions. I've tried my best to make it feel like home despite the fact I have no furniture at all!. I've been sitting on a blue stepping stool and my only sleeping arrangements are a blue foamy mattress from extra foods that has compressed to about a 1/4 inch thick. I have dreams of planting a decent garden though it is half way through the summer. I took a pair of scissors to the heather bushes at the front and placed my sad looking 'italian parsley' plant which I got half price and named "Garfield" on my steps in on of my failed pottery projects as my feeble first attempt at a garden.

"China Sue"

Well, Ive had my first experience helping to host an exhange student. "Chinatsu" spent two days at the house where I've been boarding. It is always very interesting how Japanese teenagers dress like they have just jumped out of an Archie Comic. Its like you are more surprised to see that they arent followed around by a pointy conversation bubble that says "POW!!". Its always interesting to me how humans try to talk to other humans whom they percieve to have problems understanding what you are saying. I myself fall into this trap. Chinatsu seemed to have a glazed confused expression in response to almost everything I had to say... now that i think of it most everyone does.... so Ive taken to talking in a LOUD V-E-R-Y S-L-O-W voice. Im not sure if it helps or now it just takes a bit longer for the confused look to spread over her face.
Jim never did learn how to say her name. "tChinats" received every contortion of her name by dear Jim. I suggested he call her China Sue. which of course he refused.

Charlie Poole

I was in Walmart the other night killing time by having a hot drink and a muffin when an old man asked if he could share my table. Sharing tables with strangers is secretly something I wish I could do more of so I say "sure". He is an old man who "likes to talk" he self identifies and asks if I had figured that out yet. I say " if I hadnt already, I would soon". He looks a bit confused and continues on the conversation. He looks at me with a gleam in his eye and tells me about his younger days in Sheshelt which of course were his glory days. He's got a wife who "works for Walmart too". ..... I dont actually work for Walmart sir. His wife doesnt mind that he gives out his number he says and hands me a card with his name on it and tells me to hang up if she answers. It doubles as a business card for home made fishing lures and I cant help wondering why he is wasting his effort trying to sell me fishing lures. He says "I cant remember what I was saying" and goes on to explain how he is on oxygen and etc...I can imagine what he imagines us being on par with in this fictitional romance? he's not even able to maintain alertness in a conversation. As I write this I remember my favorite Nancy Drew quote. "Old men who are looking at middle age through a rearview mirror should not attempt to keep pace with lithe younger women". Ah Charlie Poole. weird lonely old man.

Mt.Benson

Yesterday I went hiking with Tyrone. Mt.Benson. The internet maps all confusing. The trail head was easy to find and I took off down it with deceitful enthusiasm. Unfortunately the trail was only to a lake about 50 meters off the road. It was nice to do some bushwacking first off as we attempted to find the trail by following the natural curve of the lake. No luck. Back to the vehicle and another short look around yeilded a very obvious "right" trail. More decietful enthusiasm. First fork in the road and the "always go left" rule is applied though ive forgotten if it is actually "always go left" or "always go right". We dont appear to be making much of an incline so we ask the next person we see if we are on the right track. We arent. And she mentions that she saw us at the beginning of the trail where we happily went flailing through the bush but we "looked like you knew were you were going so I didnt say anything". I love it when I look like I know what Im doing. we back track to the point were we should have used the "always go right" rule and smile in aknowledgement of the sign with mountains that say "mt.benson" on them. I've gone ten feet when i start to feel the strain of the mountains in my legs. "Wow" I think "I'm sure glad I went for two ten minute runs this last week to prepare myself for this". Onward and upward. I stop twice to cough and am surprised when a little spider and a couple cobwebs come rolling out. Havent really been using my lungs lately. Credit to Tyrone, he is patient as we hike slowly and stop every few feet as I wait for my resting heart rate to fall below 104 BPM. After 45 minutes my legs have stoped whining about the hike, and Ive tried to stop also. The first look out is at the top of a clearcut. A beautiful and majestic view of Nanaimo. Another rock perch yeilds an even more amazing view of the ocean and all the way to vancouver. An eagle soars at eye level and quickly raises five hundred feet in a matter of seconds. (thats what tyrone said - I wouldnt be able to tell). Thats when we hear a "Meow"? um. this isnt really the area for domestic house cats. We discuss cougars and the various sounds they make and how they can sound like children. and another "meow". Later it is discovered that it IS actually a slightly less than intelligent child yelling for his caregiver to wait up or something. Time to move on now that the sweat on my face has dried to a film thick enough to season a take out chinese dish. The rest of the incline is uneventful and the view from the top is amazing. I can see Croften and possibly Duncan like the webpages said. I am curious to know about the mountains to the southwest and west and wonder why I havent explored them too much and make a note to do that in the future. I pretend I know all the names of the lakes and islands. who will know the difference anyways. There is "4:20" and swastikas spray painted all over a building at the top. I cant help but wonder how the potheads found the enthusiasm to hike to the top. On the way down, I am glad for the trees by the side of the trial and throw my self from one tree to the next hoping they stop gravity from turning me into a non moss gathering rolling projectile. "I managed to make it another ten feet" I say as I simultainously loose my footing. I hear the universe laugh.
I never pass the opportunity to drink from a mountain stream. There is a little waterfall falling off a ledge and I have to press my hand against the wall for a little bit of water to collect. crisp and refreshing I rinse my face. I take a sip and it tastes like moss. I shouldnt be surprised, the rock being covered in moss and all.
I'm still alive when we reach the bottom. I feel good. I love being out in the wilderns. Out of shape and all, its great to get out and get away from the noise of the city and be one with nature. Even having to awaken at 5 am to inject two doses of morphine for the muscle pain in my legs, it was all worth it!.